Written by Tanya Griffin, Sexpert and oOYes founder.
Millennials, Gen Y and Z, talk to your parents about Sex and Drugs! It is not their first rodeo. The gulf between you is smaller than you think.
Of course this goes both ways. Gen X parents, talk to your children. We have so much to learn from each other. Opening communication and feeling no shame around sex and drugs will help us all come together and protect each other.
Gen X, my generation, grew up riddled with shame, we were taught that any sexual orientation outside the heterosexual norm was wrong. Unlike the ‘Helicopter Parenting’ the millennials suffered, we, the “Latchkey Kids” were left to fend off sexual abuse at a time when uncles and priest were given free reign. We grew up in a time where religion was fashionable and its shame-filled agenda forced the idea that sex was for procreation, not for pleasure, and only whores explored at the grave risk of pregnancy, STD’s and the looming threat of AIDS. Fear mongering prevailed. It was the time of D.A.R.E. and “Just Say No”, where anti-drug campaigns compared our brains to an egg frying in a skillet.
Despite the fear mongering, like all the generations before and after, we Gen Xers found our ‘high’. We had Rock ‘n’ Roll while drugs like cannabis, LSD, psilocybin, and MDMA played alongside quaaludes, benzos), speed, cocaine, and heroin. Alcohol was the norm and ravaged broken homes as the “acceptable way’ to wind down the day.
Gen’s X, Y and Z each have access to mind opening, mind-altering, mind numbing drugs and sex. The difference in our evolution, our progress as happy humans, is how we decide to shame, stigmatize, regulate, and communicate about it.
Drugs and Sex are here to stay. It is up to us if we want to face them head on or choose to shame and ignore that they exist.
Millennials did not grow up under the same burden of religion that we did. They were able to shake the shame around sex and drugs. They are beautifully fluid and did not grow up judging others for their sexual preference and orientation. They were not taught to live in shame. While similar drugs prevailed, our children are growing up in a time where legalization is the norm, where alcohol is considered more lethal than cannabis, a time when the worlds mantra is shifting to “Just Say Yes” and choices are made based on social media, niche social groups, and a plethora of information at everyone's fingertips.
Unlike the Gen Xers, our children must navigate a digital world connecting too much and too little. They are quicker, smarter and can juggle and decipher so much information. Relationships are more fluid, monogamy is no longer a mandate, marriage is for families and even that choice is a decision.
While the shame and stigma around drugs has changed, the risks have increased. The drugs that in the past would not kill instantly are easily laced with Fenytnal, one hit and you're dead! The drugs now are stronger, more plentiful, and can lead to psychosis. Doctors are happy to get you hooked while the psychotherapist talks you down or up from the anxiety the new world serves up.
Why are we pretending we are not now and have not always been a drug culture?
Parents, talk to your Children. Children, talk to your parents. Lovers, talk to each other.
Feel No Shame! In a time where information flows freely and we are each left to decipher within our own niches we need to talk openly with each other and stop shaming sex and drugs. It did not work in the past and it certainly will not hold up in the future.
Just because drugs were illegal does not mean there was no access. Humans will find a way to get high and healthy horny humans will figure out how to free their minds with sex and pleasure.
A great way to break the barriers around sex and drugs and blow open communication can be with cannabis. Consider cannabis the ultimate peace pipe, light up a joint, share a gummy and let’s talk about sex and drugs. We each have something to learn from the other. Shame will get us nowhere.
Talking about the things that may scare us and exploring them with mindfulness and intention can open doors we never imagined. When using mind altering substances it is helpful to track the experience, to start slow, know your limits, and practice. When adding intimacy to the equation this communication can bring you closer. Sex and drugs can be life changing. This can be scary and leave you vulnerable, it can also open your mind, elevate your senses, and allow you to lean into pleasure and self actualization.
Learn more about harm reduction and overdose prevention at savedmylife.org.
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